Veteran's Day Thoughts

This is my favorite picture of Patrick in uniform. It was taken while he was at work several months before we were married. It makes me laugh every time I see it!


I never thought much about Veteran's Day until I met and married my husband. Like many people, I thought of it as just another holiday. Only two of my relatives had served in the military - my grandfather served in the Navy during World War II and my uncle served in the Army during the Vietnam War. Neither spoke much about their service, until I brought Patrick home.

My uncle Marty on occasion would reminisce about his Army years, but my grandfather didn't talk very much at all about his Navy service. So it was a great surprise the first time Patrick met my family and my grandfather began talking about his years in the Navy. My grandfather served as an officer during WWII as a Radioman - which just happened to have been Patrick's job. They talked for hours about the Navy, about how the duties of the Radioman had changed, and of course about the habits and port calls of young sailors. I remember how fascinated my mother was because she had never heard most of the stories her father was sharing. It was amazing to see my grandfather almost look relieved that he had found someone he could talk about his memories with - someone who understood what he was talking about.

Over the years, I have had the pleasure to meet some amazing veterans. I love to listen to them open up and talk about things that they may not have even thought about in years.

I have laughed with an amazing friend I made in Virginia who served for 30 years in the Marine Corps. He would tell me hilarious stories about his 3 tours in 'Nam. I know he had seen some horrible things, but he always was able to put a positive and fun spin on his memories. But I have also cried with a friend who came to me on the first day of the Gulf War with tears in his eyes as he described the horror and injustices that he and so many others faced when they came home after that very same war.

I am so proud of all of my veteran's - my husband, my family, my friends. Whether they spent a day in uniform, are retired or are still serving as a reservist or on active duty. I never had the strength of character to put my life on the line, but you did. For that, and for so much more, I thank you!

The following two quotes are actually the reason why I've been thinking about all of this today. They are posts that some of my military friends have posted as their Facebook statuses. Let's hope that we can remember these thoughts whenever we think of our brothers and sisters who are serving in the service.

I am a Veteran, and a Veteran is someone, who at one point in their life, wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for an amount up to, and including, their life. Regardless of personal political views it is an honor to serve one's country, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer remember that fact.

It was completely my honor and my pleasure to do so. I would to it again in a New York Minute. So many before me that served with great honor never made it back from wherever they served. Many more did make it back in different iterations of themselves. I firmly believe that tomorrow, Veterans Day, is about those who gave the ultimate price or lost a significant part of themselves for our great country. Luckily, I was not in those categories. If you see an old vet, a wounded vet, or a vet that seems lost, go thank them, hug them or do something to make their day Thursday.

Last but not least are two quotes that I found for those of us who sat at home. We waited while our loved one's were out fighting to defend us. I personally think these quotes are not only for the military spouses, but also for all who loves their veterans.

“You are a patriot — the sort of citizen that all of us should be, but so few of us are. You live with sacrifice, because you believe in the rights and ideals that your husband defends. Although you wear no uniform, you are a part of that defense — a vital link in the chain of freedom. Although you wear no medals and will reap no glory on the field of battle, you are hero in the truest sense of the word. You are a military spouse.”(Gene Thomas, from the article “The Hardest Job in the Military”)

Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will. --Author Unknown.

It's starting to look a lot like Autumn!

Oh how I love Fall!
Or perhaps I should call it Autumn...

I have always been a bit misunderstood by these two terms, and how they are used interchangeably. In researching these two terms, I found that technically "Autumn" is when the air begins to be crisp almost, cool and the leaves are changing. "Fall" technically begins when the leaves, well - fall. When the weather is cold, not cool.

I had no idea that there were two parts of this season, but it doesn't matter, because it is my favorite season! I love the way the air smells fresh and new. I love the to watch the colors of the leaves change. I love that slight crackle sound that the leaves make when you step on them. I relish in the cooler air, and I yearn to wear sweaters and sweatshirts.

We have been in the mid-west now for almost two years, and this past summer has been hot. Too hot for me! This July I found myself singing "Wake Me When September Ends" by Green Day over and over again to myself. Just waiting for the cooler weather to come.
Thankfully, we are finally getting some cooler weather here in the mid-west. It's still not as cool as I would like it to be, but I need to remind myself that it will be soon.

On the first cool day of the season I opened every window in the house as wide as they would let me, and stood in front of the windows letting the cool - almost cold air brush over me.Patrick stood in front of the window with me for a moment or two. He proceeded to tell me that I was nuts, and immediately went to put on warmer clothes. But it felt so fantastic to me.

I will admit that eventually I did go and put on a sweatshirt and socks to keep warm. But I refused to close the windows! It just felt too good.


I know that sometimes I am a bit overzealous with my emotions. I try to hold them in, but that just doesn't happen all the time. Especially when I'm walking in our local Farmer's Market and I spy the first pumpkins! I think there were a few tears in my eyes that day. I immediately begin to dream of all of the dishes I would make. So far, I've only bought two pumpkins - and this is the first I've cooked. I dream of making pumpkin ravioli, pumpkin risotto, pumpkin bread... The list could go on and on. But for me it's the soups. You may have noticed that I love soup. My thoughts were settled when a Facebook friend mentioned Squash and Apple Curry soup several times in the past few weeks.

We finally took the time to find the Costco in St. Louis last week, and renewed our membership - it's been more than 10 years since we've lived near enough to one to shop there. I had forgotten how fantastic they can be. But when I saw these beautiful looking Asian Pears - my mind was made up. I was making Roasted Pumpkin, Asian Pear Curry Soup!



I adapted the recipe from one I found on The Gracious Bowl for Butternut Squash and Pear Soup. Pumpkin and butternut squash are almost interchangeable, although sometimes pumpkin can be a tad more bitter than the sweet of butternut squash. Just remember to buy eating pumpkins or squash, not the large pumpkins we carve for Halloween!

I served this for dinner tonight with sourdough grilled sharp cheddar cheese sandwiches with thinly sliced Asian pears inside. For me, this was a perfect light meal for Autumn.

Pumpkin and Pear Soup

1 medium-large cooking pumpkin
1 yellow onion, diced
2 Asian pears, peeled, seeded, and cubed
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp powdered ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper (or more to taste)
salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
3 cups chicken or vegetable broth
heavy cream or half and half, to serve (optional)

Quarter and seed the pumpkin and rub with olive oil, salt and pepper then roast at 400 degrees until soft, about 30-40 minutes. Let cool and scoop out the flesh.

Saute the onion and pear until very soft, about 10 minutes. Add the curry, cinnamon, ginger, and cayenne pepper and let them toast for a minute, then add the squash. Add the chicken or vegetable broth and let it all simmer for another 10 minutes.

Puree the soup with an immersion blender or in a blender (but be careful to do it in small batches...splattering liquids are HOT!).

Keep warm, and taste to correct seasoning if needed. Serve with a small swirl of heavy cream or half and half, if desired.

I am very lucky

September always hit me hard. I don't know why, but it does. I think perhaps it's back to school time, the new beginnings that a new school year brings. Or perhaps it's the weather - getting cool again and changing to my favorite time of the year. Whatever it is, I always feel as though I should be doing SOMETHING in the fall. The trouble is, I don't know what it is that I feel I should be doing!

This has been a great day. I got to eat breakfast with Patrick, who just got home from a business trip to Hawaii. I know, I know... lucky duck. One of these days I hope to visit Hawaii, but this trip came upon him so quickly, he found out that he was going 5 days before he flew. We looked at plane tickets, but since we don't have an extra $2000 to spend at this time... I stayed home.


He had a good time, and even though he was working he found some time to get some much-needed relaxation. He drank Mai Tai's and visited with some military friends who are stationed in Hawaii now. I know he is happy to be home, but I'm sure he is wishing he had just a few more days to swim in the ocean!

After my walk this morning, I did something that I haven't done in a while - Morning Pages. Every few years, I re-read "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron, and try to incorporate her teachings into my life. I even bought several of her other books, but I haven't sat down with them. Yet. One of the many things on my rather large to-do list. However, after today I think that goes to the top of my list.

I had a bit of an epiphany while I was writing my Morning Pages this morning:

I am one very lucky woman

(And, it's not just that Patrick surprised me with a purse I have been eying since Vegas!) It's that he lets me be... me. And despite that, he loves me anyway. He has let me take this time to try to figure out what I want to do, who and what I want to be. I spend so much time and energy disliking myself, and second guessing everything I do or want to do. Yet, he is there for me and he supports me.

But, it's not just Patrick. I have good friends, who although they don't live in the same state, they are wonderful, and they support me as well. I have been feeling bereft, so far away from everyone. But today I did something I very rarely do because I'm always afraid of bothering people. I called an old friend who I recently found on Facebook. This is someone I hadn't seen or talked with since we were in middle school together. We had a fantastic conversation - caught up on our lives, our wants, fears, and more. I hope that I helped her feel as though someone is there for her, because she helped me realize that even if I feel as though I have nothing to say, or nothing new to say - that perhaps I can say it in a different way. I have always wanted to be a writer, so I need to write. The talk with her also made me realize that I need to stay connected or re-connect with my friends. If they are busy, they either won't answer the phone, or ask me to call another time.

It's been a pretty good day. And now I get to go have even more fun and put together a hopefully delicious soup for that wonderful husband of mine! I am pretty lucky.

Not blogging from Las Vegas

O.K., my intentions were noble. I was going to blog several times from Vegas about the things that we were doing, and the food that we were eating, but.... Well. I didn't. At all. We've been home now for a week, and I am just now sitting down to write.

Patrick had to go to Las Vegas for two conventions. He hadn't been there since he was a kid, and I've never done Vegas, so we thought it would be a good for me to tag along. Especially since our 15th wedding anniversary is in a mere two months, and because he hasn't accumulated very many vacation days yet, our dream of a cruise to Alaska or a trip to England just wasn't going to happen!




Anywho... The conferences that Patrick attended were hacking conventions - Black Hat and Def Con. As in computer hacking and the security aspects that go along with it. We were sufficiently warned about the conference. Several of the things we were told were not to bring any device with wifi into the hotels that were holding the conventions and not to use the ATM there either. But I figured that we were not staying in the same hotels with the conference, and we have a Mac! When I decided that I had seen enough to blog about, I pulled out my laptop, and went to log in, and saw several wifi connections - one was named "Virus". I thought about the chances of being hacked on a Mac, but decided to go with my gut and NOT connect. I don't like to gamble with much of anything, including the computer!

As stated, I'm not much of a gambler. So, Vegas was a little boring for me while Patrick was busy with the conference. It was unbearably hot, although not too much hotter than St. Louis. But I don't spend very much time outside walking around here!

The next sentence will shock those of you who know me: I spent several days at the pool. Thankfully I found a great spot under umbrellas and shaded by trees. It was quite nice and relaxing once I got over my panic attack of wearing a bathing suit for the first time in years! I stepped out of my comfort zone, and wow was it hard. Even before leaving the room, dressed in my new bathing suit and cover up, my heart was pounding like mad and I was having trouble breathing. The long walk to the elevator and then to the pool was pure torture. I was hunched over trying to hide, and shaking! I was in pure panic being in a bathing suit. By the second day, I was a little more comfortable, although the only time I took the cover up off was when I was in the pool. Perhaps next time I'll be better. Maybe. We'll see.

I spent a lot of time writing Morning Pages, which I hadn't done in a long time. As well as window shopping, and drooling at all of the beautiful things that I wanted but can't afford! With all of the Tiffany, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Fendi, Gucci and the like... Oh my. See, I have a purse addiction, so it was very hard to walk out of those stores without big bags. But, I did it. Several months ago I promised myself that once I lose a certain amount of weight that I will buy one of those purses. I was originally thinking it was going to be a Louis Vuitton, but now, I'm not sure.




We spent several nights and days at the Fontana Bar in the Bellagio. We spent most of our time in the Bellagio. It was so easy to just stay in the hotel, rather than go out into the heat. And watching the fountains from the patio was very beautiful and relaxing.

We did not eat one bad thing the week we were there. But it's hard to say what my favorite meal was. I fell in love with the bread basket and the tapenade at Todd English's Olives. I truly wonder if I could live on that bread, wine and cheese? I would be very happy if I did! I have been using my bread machine instead of making it by hand for the past few years, but I think that is going to change soon.

The dim sum at Noodles in the Bellagio was fantastic.

But I do think that the best evening belongs to our dinner at Sensi before we went to the Cirque du Soleil show of "O". The whole evening was wonderful, and I can't wait to see both "O" again, as well as other Cirque du Soleil show. Sensi was fantastic, between the attentive wait staff, the unique mixture of textures in the design of the restaurant itself - mixed stones, water features, different woods and glass, and the delicious food, oh, it was pure delight. I was excited to see Tandoori Butter Chicken on the menu because I had recently read a fantastic article on NPR about this dish that intrigued me greatly. It did not disappoint and I think that I will be making this dish soon. If you want to make it, just click on Tandoori butter chicken to see the article, and recipe. Of course, I can't make it too often, if I want to get that Louis Vuitton!

ZenJen's Dream Board

Sandy at Peaceful Daily says it best:
A vision board is a place where you keep everything that you want
to create in your life.

For several months now I've had the idea for a dream or vision board rolling around in my head. I've been thinking about what pictures and words that I needed to help me concentrate on what I want in life. I knew that a dream board would help me visualize these thoughts, and give me something to focus on while I was meditating. Or, I suppose I should say while I am trying to meditate because I'm not very good! Yet.

But, I never got down to the nitty-gritty and actually created one. I was going to create it the manual way - cutting out pictures and words that I liked and posting them to a board. Using my own calligraphy to write out words that would help me.

Words like Friends, Family, Strength, Travel, Peace...

But a few weeks ago, while reading my emails - I read about dream boards in my Peaceful Daily email. I enjoy getting these daily updates, and have used several of the ideas in my life. When I read that there may be an easier way to create a Dream Board, I was ecstatic. Then I saw that it was on Oprah's website, and I was not sure. I have a lot of respect and like Oprah, but I don't watch her show (I don't watch daytime television) and until today I had never visited her website. But I will say I was very impressed with how easy it was to create my own board. I didn't use any of my own personal pictures, but you can if you have them on your computer. I'm very happy with my first board, although I will probably use some of my own pictures, and calligraphy for my second board. I'm already thinking of making another with other goals and hopes!

I hope that you will make your own board, it is quick and easy at
O Dream Board. I look forward to seeing what dreams you have!

A delicious Almond Blueberry Coffeecake to say I'm sorry

I knew it had been a long time since I've written, but I hadn't realized just how long it has been until today. Wow. I'm not exactly sure what I've been up to for the past - ahem - 2 months or so. But, I feel as though I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. There have been so many days when I've made something, and thought "I have GOT to write about this!", and then haven't done so. There have been more days when I've been busy in the kitchen, and once I taste the finished product, have thought to myself "Nope, not good enough to share."

We didn't buy a lot of packaged foods before, but I think I have been doing quite well with using even less. I've made several batches of crackers, and last week I spent hours fighting cherries and blueberries making a ton of freezer jam. I noticed this morning that my fingers are finally back to a flesh color!

This was only some of the mess I made while crushing the cherries. There was cherry juice EVERYWHERE.

This is only the cherry jam. When I was done with the blueberry jam, I was so tired, I forgot to take a picture. But I didn't mind the mess or the exhaustion because now we've got plenty of jam in the freezer to add to our homemade yogurt, and to use in recipes.

Lately, every morning for breakfast, Patrick has a yogurt and something extra. This week, I asked him what he had a craving for, and he requested a coffeecake. I don't make coffeecakes very often, and when I do make them we usually eat them as dessert. As soon as he mentioned it, I knew I wanted to use some of this bounty of jam I have stashed in the freezer.

I looked through a lot of my cookbooks, and couldn't find a recipe that matched what I had already come up with in my head. One of my favorite cookbooks is "The American Country Inn and Bed and Breakfast Cookbook" by Kitty and Lucian Maynard. I have both Volume One and Volume Two as well as the Best Recipes Collection. In Volume One I found a recipe for an Apple Coffee Cake from Murphy's House Bed and Breakfast in Great Fall, Montana that I knew I could tweak to get the results that I was looking for. This will definitely be a recipe that I make more often!

Almond Blueberry Coffeecake

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
3 eggs
1 1/2 cups milk
2 teaspoon almond extract
3 cups all purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
approximately 20 ounces of jam, any flavor
1/4 cup almonds
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons melted butter

Preheat the oven to 350. Grease a 9x13 inch baking pan.

In a medium mixing bowl cream the 1/2 cup butter and the 1 cup sugar with an electric mixer. Add the eggs, the almond extract and the milk, mixing well after each addition.

In a separate bowl combine the flour, baking powder and salt. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture.

Pour half of the batter into the prepared baking pan. Spoon half of the jam over the batter. Repeat with remaining batter and jam. Sprinkle the top of the final jam layer with brown sugar and nuts. Drizzle with melted butter. Bake for 35-45 minutes until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Serve warm.

Nothing You Can Do That Can't Be Done

All You Need is Love (Lennon-McCartney)

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time It's easy.

Is it easy?

If anyone has noticed, I haven't blogged in a while. I understand if you haven't been paying attention. I've been going through a crisis of sorts. Everyday I think about things I can blog about, recipes to share or thoughts about life. But then I over-analyze it all. I get the song "All You Need is Love" going through my head. Along with the philosophy that nothing in the universe is new - that everything has been done before. Most importantly I think about how I doubt my capacity to do it better than those who have come before me.

Honestly, I've always had this problem. I am only now realizing that this is the main reason why I have such a hard time finishing, well, anything. I am terrific at starting things, but finishing them... I know that this is not a healthy way to look at life, and yet I find it difficult to change.

I'm not working right now, because I'm supposed to be trying to write the "next Great Novel". But I find myself unable to write. Unable to put the ideas and thoughts I have to paper (or computer). I fight with myself because I am so afraid of hurting any one's feelings if I happen to write something that even as a hint suggests friends or family.

I guess you could say I'm really not sure what I'm doing. But I guess the next question I have for everyone is this: Does anyone really know what they are doing with their lives?

I truly envy those who know exactly what they want to do or be. A few years ago on our trip to Vienna and Prague we met this young woman who astounded me. She was an American visiting Vienna and it's symphonies. She was a high school student who played the flute, and her mother and aunt were with her. After talking with her mother for a while, I learned that this young woman had asked for a flute when she was 4. Four. She had seen someone playing a flute on TV, and decided that was what she wanted to do. She spent hours every day practicing her flute. She studied and was learning everything she could about Classical music. All I kept thinking as I was talking with this brilliant young woman was "Wow. To know without a doubt what you want to do in life. Wow."

I'm edging closer and closer to that 40 mark, and I still have no clue what I want to do when I grow up. Do you know what you want to do?

Okay, enough philosophy and ramblings for today. Because I do have a recipe I want to share with you.

I've made Baked Penne with Roasted Vegetables by Giada De Laurentis that I found on FoodTV twice now. Each time I make it I'm surprised with how much I like it. This last time I made it, we were shopping at the Commissary and I was unable to find either Fontina or smoked mozzarella. For those of you who are lucky enough not to have had the pleasure of shopping at the Commissary, it is the grocery store on all US Military Installations. The Commissary is a great store where you can normally save money on groceries. However, it is hard to get "gourmet" things there sometimes. I substituted regular mozzarella and gruyere cheese with wonderful results.

Baked Penne with Roasted Vegetables

from Giada De Laurentis

2 red bell peppers, cored and cut into 1 inch wide strips

2 each zucchini and summer squash, quartered lengthwise and cut into 1 inch cubes

4 cremini mushrooms, halved

1 yellow onion, peeled and sliced into 1 inch strips

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

1 teaspoon salt, divided

1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, divided

1 tablespoon dried Italian herb mix or herbs de Provence

1 pound penne pasta

3 cups marinara sauce (store bought or homemade)

1 cup grated fontina cheese

1/2 cup grated smoked mozzarella

1 1/2 cups frozen peas, thawed

1/4 cup grate Parmesan, plus 1/3 cup for topping

2 tablespoons butter, cut into small pieces

Preheat the oven to 450F.

On a baking sheet, toss the peppers, zucchini, squash, mushrooms, and onions with the olive oil, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon pepper, and dried herbs. Roast until tender, about 15 minutes. (I roasted the vegetables the last time I made this recipe for a total of 25 minutes.)

Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta and cook for about 6 minutes. Since you will cooking the pasta a second time in the oven, you want to make sure he inside is still hard. Drain in a colander.

In a large bowl, toss the drained pasta with the roasted vegetables, marinara sauce, cheeses, peas and remaining salt and pepper. Using a wooden spoon, gently mix, until all the pasta is coated with the sauce and the ingredients are combined.

Pour the pasta into a greased 9 by 13 inch pan. Top with the remaining 1/3 cup Parmesan and butter pieces. Bake until top is golden and the cheese melts, about 25 minutes.

I lead a quiet life

I think it all started some time ago, when I read the Isabel Dalhousie mysteries by Alexander McCall Smith, and I fell in love with his writing, the charming and gentle nature of the stories as well as the moral conundrums that are posed within the books. I feel very connected with the main character and her fights with philosophy. She leads a very quiet and gentle life .

I lead a quiet life.

I've had this sentence going through my head for several weeks, if not months now. I've wanted to describe the feeling, yet I haven't felt ready to put those words down into any tangible form. Today I woke up and decided to try to put some meaning behind this sentiment.

I lead a quiet life. I think some people think that my life is boring, and to be honest, sometimes I think it is as well. My quiet life is partly by design, but also because of circumstances. I think some people like me, have spent so much of their lives with drama... with complications that we like things quiet... easy.

It has taken me a very long time to realize that there are two places that make me feel completely at peace. That help silence the nagging and the guilt and the frustrations that I feel. I can't believe that it took me so long to figure these out, but I am happy that I know now! The first one I think I always have known, and it is near water. Any large body of water. I love to sit or stand and just be. I stare out at the water and feel a great peace come over me. As we are in the Midwest right now, I don't get a chance to sit and stare at water much - but I'm hoping we will be back to water someday! And NO - I do not count the Mississippi as water. At least not in the ST. Louis area.

The second I should have known, because I am a reader, and always have been. The second place that I find my peace in is a bookstore. Preferably a quiet one with lots of wood shelves and creaky stairs leading you into further areas to explore. My absolute favorite bookstore is The Elliot Bay Book Company in Pioneer Square in Seattle. They unfortunately are relocating out of the walls that I remember and love into a new flagship store. I want to cry when I think that I have not stepped foot into that wonderful establishment in over 10 years, and since they closed at the end of March, I will not get a chance to again. I have found one bookstore here in St. Louis which is similar, but not quite the same - Left Bank Books. Thankfully, now that we have a house, and I am lucky enough to have an office where I can put my books, I can sit in here and stare at my bookcases (below is one of my bookcases), and let the peace wash over me.


A perfect quiet day for me is taking the dog for a walk. Meditating or doing some form of exercise, then hopefully I get some writing in, or do any of the other projects I have dreamed up. Cooking something good and good for us, perhaps letting it simmer or bake while I am curled up on the couch with a good book and a cup of tea. And then, perhaps when Patrick gets home we'll watch a movie or some TV that we've DVR'ed. By then it is normally time for bed, only to start the day over again tomorrow...

Someday I hope to have children, to be close to friends, and to have more going on. But for now, I am enjoying my quiet life. It has taken me a long time to get here, and to (almost) be comfortable with it. But I'm happy I'm here.

Finally watched Food, Inc

I have been trying to eat well for a long time. I cook from scratch most of the time and I try to buy organic and sustainable produce and meat. I make yogurt, I used to make all of our bread, we don't eat at fast food restaurants, I limit our meat intake, and I try to eat as little processed food as possible.

I've read "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver, "Omnivore's Dilemma" and "Food Rules" by Michael Pollan. In my huge stack of to be read novels, is Michael Pollan's "In Defense of Food. I'm trying to do Weight Watchers, but I've been getting frustrated by the amounts of what Mr. Pollan calls edible foodlike substances in many of the recipes.

Because both Patrick and I love to cook and eat, I've been trying to get him to read either "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" or "Omnivore's Dilemma" so that he could understand what I was trying to accomplish and why. He has been so busy with work and studying for a certification exam that he hasn't had the time to spend reading. I knew that watching "Food, Inc" would be a good idea for both of us, but I also knew that it would be very disturbing.

So, I put it off.

For a long time.

We finally sat down this past weekend to watch it. And yes, it is difficult to watch. But I think it is important for everyone to see where our food is coming from. If you haven't watched it - watch it. But know that it will disturb you.

Now we are on a mission. I am not working right now. So, I'm upping my game so to speak. It is probably going to be a little more expensive, but that is a price I am willing to pay. I am going to cook even more than I did before. I am going to make crackers, granola bars, and other things most people don't even think about making by hand anymore. We are going to buy only organic or sustainable meats. And this is just the beginning!

For those who want to make a change, but aren't sure where to start. I recommend reading "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" first. I found it easier to read than "Omnivore's Dilemma". Both of the books will make you turn away sometimes, but "Omnivore's Dilemma" is much more graphic, and for the faint-hearted it can be disturbing. I had to put it down a few times, and it was very hard to pick it back up!

I recently found and absolutely adore Michael Pollan's "Food Rules". It is described as a definitive compendium of food wisdom. Almost all of us know most of these rules, we just forget them from time to time. The basic premise is: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. Which is so true. It has many rules that will make you laugh - such as #20 It's not food if it arrived through the window of your car. Even before I read this book, I was already thinking I was going to try to be and eat more like my cousin Robin and her family in Switzerland. So, rule #41 really hit me close to the heart - Eat more like the French. Or the Japanese. Or the Italians. Or the Greeks. The American diet is flawed in so many ways, and it doesn't matter which food culture you decide to try to follow, as long as it makes you happy and is possible for you. For me, and the Swiss diet, it will be eating smaller portions of very good food with little or no snacking.

Below is a short list of websites that I recommend you visit if you are interested in learning more.

Food, Inc - the movie
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle - Barbara Kingsolver
Michael Pollan website
Local Harvest, is a fantastic website to find local produce all throughout the US, as well as to order organic or sustainable meat from reputable providers.

A Tale of Two Black Bean and Squash Soups, Part One

This is the first part of a story of two very similar soups.
They are both black bean and squash soups,
yet they are very different in their making and their presentation. And I think they are both absolutely delicious.

I have both the original "The Vegetarian Epicure" and "The New Vegetarian Epicure",
so imagine my delight when I saw that Anna Thomas had a new cookbook out called
"Love Soup". Which is perfect for me, because I truly do love soup. I also love beans, so after thumbing through the book a bit, I found a black bean and squash soup that looked very interesting. I have a short memory sometimes, and had forgotten about the other black bean soup, until I tasted this one!

This incarnation of black bean and squash soup will take you a couple of hours to put together.
This is the type of soup that you are going to start on a lazy Sunday afternoon,
when all you have to do is read the newspaper and relax. You could substitute canned black beans, and frozen butternut squash, to similar results. But I hope that you will take the time to make this from scratch once.

I love the way fresh vegetables look when they are sitting and ready to go in a dish.
Doesn't this butternut squash look good?

And will you laugh at me if I tell you that I enjoy running my fingers through chopped vegetables and beans? I feel like Scrooge, playing with his coins. The textures make me smile.

The only thing that I dislike about soup is that it is not the most photogenic subject.
Especially bean soups that have been pureed.
Although this may not be the most beautiful pot of soup, it sure does tastes good!

This soup is quite sweet, but in a good way. I added a generous seasoning of Sriracha, and Patrick added a touch of Smack my Ass, our favorite hot sauce from a fantastic Mexican
better-than-fast-food restaurant called Tijuana Flats. Unfortunately there are none in the Missouri area, so we have to order our hot sauce online. If you have a moment, check out their manifesto, which makes me laugh every time I read it! I served this with my favorite cornbread, and the red cabbage an apple salad from "Love Soup".


Black Bean and Squash Soup
from Love Soup by Anna Thomas

1 1/4 cups dried black beans
4-5 cloves garlic, peeled
6 fresh epazote leaves or 1 1/2 teaspoon crumbled, dried epazote ( I omitted)
1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt, plus more to taste
1 small kabocha or butternut squash (1 1/4 - 1 1/2 pounds)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 yellow onion, chopped
1 bay leaf
1 medium carrot, finely chopped
1 large stalk celery, finely chopped
1-2 jalapeno peppers, seeded and finely chopped
1 scant tablespoon cumin seeds, toasted and ground
1 1/2 cups vegetable broth
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

garnish with:
fruity green olive oil
crumbled fresh white cheese such as queso fresco

Rinse the black beans and combine them in a large soup pot with 7 cups water, the peeled garlic cloves, and the epazote. Bring the water to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer the beans, covered, for at least an hour, or until they are tender. The time will vary with the age of the beans. When they are tender but not mushy, add a teaspoon of salt. Using a slotted spoon, lift out about a cup of the beans and put them aside.

While the beans are cooking, preheat the oven to 400F. Cut the squash in half, scrape out the seeds, and lay the halves cut side down on a lightly oiled baking pan. Roast the squash for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until it is soft. Allow it to cool slightly, then scoop out all the soft pulp.

At the same time, heat the olive oil in a skillet. Add the chopped onion, the bay leaf, and a pinch of salt, and gently saute over medium-low heat, stirring often, for about 25 minutes, or until the onion is soft and golden brown. Remove the bay leaf.

When the beans are tender, add the chopped carrot, celery, and jalapeno peppers to the beans and their broth and simmer for about 10 to 12 more minutes, until the vegetables are tender. Add the roasted squash, the caramelized onion, the cumin, and the vegetable broth.

Allow the soup to cool slightly, then puree it in a blender, in batches, or with an immersion blender, until it is smooth. Return the soup to the pot and add the reserved whole beans and the lemon juice. Taste, and correct the seasoning with more salt if needed.

Serve the soup hot with a thick drizzle of fruity olive oil and a sprinkle of crumbled white cheese on top of each serving.

A spinach salad for those who don't like spinach salads

I have a small confession to make: I've never been a huge fan of spinach salads. I know, I know... how could I? There is just something about spinach that I've never warmed up to. Actually, I have an even bigger confession, I'm not a huge fan of spinach.

I do love spinach in certain dishes, particularly Spanakopita and any Indian style spinach dishes, such as Saag Aloo. There may be a few more dishes that I am forgetting about, but I think that's it. I want to like spinach. With all of the nutrients that spinach provides, I have always wanted to serve it more, but I just can't seem to fall in love with it.

But then I found this recipe for Roasted Squash, Spinach and Leek Salad with Maple Syrup Dressing in "Dave's Dinners" by Dave Lieberman, and now I'm a convert. I've made this recipe twice, the first time I made it with roasted butternut squash, and the last time, I roasted up a sweet potato which was just as good. In the picture that accompanies the recipe in the book, it looks as though the salad has blue cheese crumbles, although the recipe does not call for them. To serve as a main dish, I think the addition of either blue cheese or slivers of Parmesan cheese (which I have used) really help to finish the recipe. All I require to make this perfect is some good crusty bread.

So, even if you are not a spinach fan, I urge you to try this salad - maybe you'll become a convert like me!

Roasted Squash, Spinach and Leek Salad with Maple Syrup Dressing
adapted from Dave's Dinners by Dave Lieberman

For the salad:
1 small butternut squash or 2 small sweet potatoes, peeled, seeded, and cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes
extra-virgin olive oil
salt
1 cup pecan halves
1 small leek
10 ounces spinach, rinsed, dried, and large stems removed
blue cheese crumbles or slivers of Parmesan cheese

For the Dressing:
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/3 cup olive oil
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 shallot, minced
1/2 teaspoon salt
15 to 20 grinds fresh black pepper

Preheat the oven to 400F.

Toss the squash cubes on a baking sheet with olive oil and salt. Roast 25 minutes or until tender, tossing every 10 minutes or so. Remove the squash from the oven and allow to cool fully.

Spread the pecans out on another baking sheet and toast in the oven for 5 minutes.

Remove the green tops and bottom root from the leek. Cut the remaining portion of the leek in half lengthwise and rinse under cool water to wash away any grit inside the leek. Cut each half in half crosswise, then thinly cut vertically to create leek matchsticks.

Make the dressing by shaking together all the dressing ingredients in a seal-able container or whisk together in a bowl. Toss the spinach with the dressing, divide the spinach between serving pates, and top with the squash pieces. Scatter the leek matchsticks around the salad, then finish with the toasted pecans and cheese.

Trying a new ingredient - celery root

I know that it has been too long since I've written about some of the recipes that I've been trying. I think it is going to take me a few weeks to catch up with some of the delicious dishes I've made recently, so stay with me!

The first dish I want to tell you about really surprised me. I think it may be my new - make when I need comfort food beef stew, and I truly didn't expect that. I was looking through some of my cookbooks the other day, and I saw this recipe for Venison Cider Stew in "A Well Seasoned Appetite" by Molly O'Neill. Normally I would have just passed right by it because of the venison, but I thought to myself "well, I could use beef". I continued looking at the list of ingredients, and even though the celery root made me uncomfortable, the rest of the ingredients beckoned me - apple cider, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon...

Needless to say, I decided to give this recipe a try. Off to the store I went, and immediately had trouble finding celery root. Thankfully there was a produce manager to help me. He said that a lot of people had been using celery root lately. Perhaps I'm not the only one trying new things! It's not the most attractive thing in the produce section, quite gnarled and very rooty. Which is I guess what I should have expected! I made a few substitutions - some I meant to do such as beef for the venison; and some I didn't mean to do - I forgot to pick up Calvados at the store, but it ended up being absolutely delicious! I wasn't sure what celery root was going to taste like, so I was a bit apprehensive. I am not a fan of either parsnips or turnips - or perhaps it is both I don't like, I never can remember. Celery root is very much like celery, but almost softer somehow.

The cooking is a bit different for beef than it is for venison, so if you do want to use venison - ask and I'll give you the directions.

Beef Cider Stew (Adapted from Venison Cider Stew)
from "A Well Seasoned Appetite" by Molly O'Neill

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 pound beef stew meat
2 tablespoons flour, seasoned lightly with salt and pepper
1 onion, peeled and minced
2 small celery roots, trimmed, peeled, and cubed
1/2 cup apple cider
1 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
2 cups beef broth
1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, plus more to taste
1 cinnamon stick
1/2 cup dried apples, diced
1/4 cup Calvados (I used 1/8 cup brandy and 1/8 cup apple cider)
1/4 cup unsalted pistachios, coarsely chopped

Warm the olive oil in a large heavy pot over medium heat. Dust the beef with the seasoned flour. Add to the pan and cook, stirring, until well browned. Remove the beef from the pan with a slotted spoon and set aside. Add the onion to the pan and cook until the onion is soft, about 5 minutes. Add the celery roots and cook for about 3 minutes. Add the beef back to the pan, along with the apple cider, vinegar, broth, salt, pepper, and cinnamon stick. Simmer until the celery root is tender, about 1 hour.

While the stew is simmering, soak the dried apples in the Calvados.

Taste and adjust the seasoning of the stew with salt and pepper. Remove and discard the cinnamon stick. Ladle the stew into large bowls. Garnish with the apple-Calvados mixture and pistachios and serve.

Serves 4 as a main course

In Memoriam...

It truly has been too long since I've sat at the computer, and written about some of the wonderful dishes that I have been cooking. Well, that last sentence makes it sound as though I've been doing nothing but whipping up terrific food, and that is not exactly accurate. Suffice it to say, in the past 2, almost 3 months since I've written, I have made a few wonderful dishes. But I haven't sat down to tell you about them, partly because I wonder if anyone really wants to hear about what I'm doing. But also because the last few months have been very difficult. We lost my mother-in-law, Joyce Hahn on January 18th. It has been more trying than we thought it would be. As most of you know, she had been ill for quite some time. We had not lived near her in the 14 years we have been married, so we are thankful that for the past 6 months we were able to have her near us, and spend as much time with her as we could.

Death is not easy, even when we know it is coming soon.

Unfortunately, this was not the end. On Monday, we woke up to find our oh-so much loved cat, Purrsilla in pain. 'Silla, otherwise known as the Queen of Fatness or Queen of the Catbox was 18, and had given us more love and laughs than I think we truly deserved. We had always told ourselves that we would not let our animals suffer. So, with many tears we said goodbye. She was my "Baby Love", my sweetness... and now I have a very big hole in my heart that is 'Silla shaped.

Soon after Joyce passed, we decided that we needed something to help fill the gap in our lives. I'm still not sure if we made the right decision, but Shaka Hahn is the newest addition to our family. I've never had a dog before.
Ever.

I love him, but I have come to the conclusion that I am still a cat person at heart!

Speaking of being a cat person, I'm not sure if Peter likes the new addition. But he is trying.
Sort of.