I lead a quiet life

I think it all started some time ago, when I read the Isabel Dalhousie mysteries by Alexander McCall Smith, and I fell in love with his writing, the charming and gentle nature of the stories as well as the moral conundrums that are posed within the books. I feel very connected with the main character and her fights with philosophy. She leads a very quiet and gentle life .

I lead a quiet life.

I've had this sentence going through my head for several weeks, if not months now. I've wanted to describe the feeling, yet I haven't felt ready to put those words down into any tangible form. Today I woke up and decided to try to put some meaning behind this sentiment.

I lead a quiet life. I think some people think that my life is boring, and to be honest, sometimes I think it is as well. My quiet life is partly by design, but also because of circumstances. I think some people like me, have spent so much of their lives with drama... with complications that we like things quiet... easy.

It has taken me a very long time to realize that there are two places that make me feel completely at peace. That help silence the nagging and the guilt and the frustrations that I feel. I can't believe that it took me so long to figure these out, but I am happy that I know now! The first one I think I always have known, and it is near water. Any large body of water. I love to sit or stand and just be. I stare out at the water and feel a great peace come over me. As we are in the Midwest right now, I don't get a chance to sit and stare at water much - but I'm hoping we will be back to water someday! And NO - I do not count the Mississippi as water. At least not in the ST. Louis area.

The second I should have known, because I am a reader, and always have been. The second place that I find my peace in is a bookstore. Preferably a quiet one with lots of wood shelves and creaky stairs leading you into further areas to explore. My absolute favorite bookstore is The Elliot Bay Book Company in Pioneer Square in Seattle. They unfortunately are relocating out of the walls that I remember and love into a new flagship store. I want to cry when I think that I have not stepped foot into that wonderful establishment in over 10 years, and since they closed at the end of March, I will not get a chance to again. I have found one bookstore here in St. Louis which is similar, but not quite the same - Left Bank Books. Thankfully, now that we have a house, and I am lucky enough to have an office where I can put my books, I can sit in here and stare at my bookcases (below is one of my bookcases), and let the peace wash over me.


A perfect quiet day for me is taking the dog for a walk. Meditating or doing some form of exercise, then hopefully I get some writing in, or do any of the other projects I have dreamed up. Cooking something good and good for us, perhaps letting it simmer or bake while I am curled up on the couch with a good book and a cup of tea. And then, perhaps when Patrick gets home we'll watch a movie or some TV that we've DVR'ed. By then it is normally time for bed, only to start the day over again tomorrow...

Someday I hope to have children, to be close to friends, and to have more going on. But for now, I am enjoying my quiet life. It has taken me a long time to get here, and to (almost) be comfortable with it. But I'm happy I'm here.

Finally watched Food, Inc

I have been trying to eat well for a long time. I cook from scratch most of the time and I try to buy organic and sustainable produce and meat. I make yogurt, I used to make all of our bread, we don't eat at fast food restaurants, I limit our meat intake, and I try to eat as little processed food as possible.

I've read "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver, "Omnivore's Dilemma" and "Food Rules" by Michael Pollan. In my huge stack of to be read novels, is Michael Pollan's "In Defense of Food. I'm trying to do Weight Watchers, but I've been getting frustrated by the amounts of what Mr. Pollan calls edible foodlike substances in many of the recipes.

Because both Patrick and I love to cook and eat, I've been trying to get him to read either "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" or "Omnivore's Dilemma" so that he could understand what I was trying to accomplish and why. He has been so busy with work and studying for a certification exam that he hasn't had the time to spend reading. I knew that watching "Food, Inc" would be a good idea for both of us, but I also knew that it would be very disturbing.

So, I put it off.

For a long time.

We finally sat down this past weekend to watch it. And yes, it is difficult to watch. But I think it is important for everyone to see where our food is coming from. If you haven't watched it - watch it. But know that it will disturb you.

Now we are on a mission. I am not working right now. So, I'm upping my game so to speak. It is probably going to be a little more expensive, but that is a price I am willing to pay. I am going to cook even more than I did before. I am going to make crackers, granola bars, and other things most people don't even think about making by hand anymore. We are going to buy only organic or sustainable meats. And this is just the beginning!

For those who want to make a change, but aren't sure where to start. I recommend reading "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" first. I found it easier to read than "Omnivore's Dilemma". Both of the books will make you turn away sometimes, but "Omnivore's Dilemma" is much more graphic, and for the faint-hearted it can be disturbing. I had to put it down a few times, and it was very hard to pick it back up!

I recently found and absolutely adore Michael Pollan's "Food Rules". It is described as a definitive compendium of food wisdom. Almost all of us know most of these rules, we just forget them from time to time. The basic premise is: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. Which is so true. It has many rules that will make you laugh - such as #20 It's not food if it arrived through the window of your car. Even before I read this book, I was already thinking I was going to try to be and eat more like my cousin Robin and her family in Switzerland. So, rule #41 really hit me close to the heart - Eat more like the French. Or the Japanese. Or the Italians. Or the Greeks. The American diet is flawed in so many ways, and it doesn't matter which food culture you decide to try to follow, as long as it makes you happy and is possible for you. For me, and the Swiss diet, it will be eating smaller portions of very good food with little or no snacking.

Below is a short list of websites that I recommend you visit if you are interested in learning more.

Food, Inc - the movie
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle - Barbara Kingsolver
Michael Pollan website
Local Harvest, is a fantastic website to find local produce all throughout the US, as well as to order organic or sustainable meat from reputable providers.

A Tale of Two Black Bean and Squash Soups, Part One

This is the first part of a story of two very similar soups.
They are both black bean and squash soups,
yet they are very different in their making and their presentation. And I think they are both absolutely delicious.

I have both the original "The Vegetarian Epicure" and "The New Vegetarian Epicure",
so imagine my delight when I saw that Anna Thomas had a new cookbook out called
"Love Soup". Which is perfect for me, because I truly do love soup. I also love beans, so after thumbing through the book a bit, I found a black bean and squash soup that looked very interesting. I have a short memory sometimes, and had forgotten about the other black bean soup, until I tasted this one!

This incarnation of black bean and squash soup will take you a couple of hours to put together.
This is the type of soup that you are going to start on a lazy Sunday afternoon,
when all you have to do is read the newspaper and relax. You could substitute canned black beans, and frozen butternut squash, to similar results. But I hope that you will take the time to make this from scratch once.

I love the way fresh vegetables look when they are sitting and ready to go in a dish.
Doesn't this butternut squash look good?

And will you laugh at me if I tell you that I enjoy running my fingers through chopped vegetables and beans? I feel like Scrooge, playing with his coins. The textures make me smile.

The only thing that I dislike about soup is that it is not the most photogenic subject.
Especially bean soups that have been pureed.
Although this may not be the most beautiful pot of soup, it sure does tastes good!

This soup is quite sweet, but in a good way. I added a generous seasoning of Sriracha, and Patrick added a touch of Smack my Ass, our favorite hot sauce from a fantastic Mexican
better-than-fast-food restaurant called Tijuana Flats. Unfortunately there are none in the Missouri area, so we have to order our hot sauce online. If you have a moment, check out their manifesto, which makes me laugh every time I read it! I served this with my favorite cornbread, and the red cabbage an apple salad from "Love Soup".


Black Bean and Squash Soup
from Love Soup by Anna Thomas

1 1/4 cups dried black beans
4-5 cloves garlic, peeled
6 fresh epazote leaves or 1 1/2 teaspoon crumbled, dried epazote ( I omitted)
1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt, plus more to taste
1 small kabocha or butternut squash (1 1/4 - 1 1/2 pounds)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 yellow onion, chopped
1 bay leaf
1 medium carrot, finely chopped
1 large stalk celery, finely chopped
1-2 jalapeno peppers, seeded and finely chopped
1 scant tablespoon cumin seeds, toasted and ground
1 1/2 cups vegetable broth
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

garnish with:
fruity green olive oil
crumbled fresh white cheese such as queso fresco

Rinse the black beans and combine them in a large soup pot with 7 cups water, the peeled garlic cloves, and the epazote. Bring the water to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer the beans, covered, for at least an hour, or until they are tender. The time will vary with the age of the beans. When they are tender but not mushy, add a teaspoon of salt. Using a slotted spoon, lift out about a cup of the beans and put them aside.

While the beans are cooking, preheat the oven to 400F. Cut the squash in half, scrape out the seeds, and lay the halves cut side down on a lightly oiled baking pan. Roast the squash for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until it is soft. Allow it to cool slightly, then scoop out all the soft pulp.

At the same time, heat the olive oil in a skillet. Add the chopped onion, the bay leaf, and a pinch of salt, and gently saute over medium-low heat, stirring often, for about 25 minutes, or until the onion is soft and golden brown. Remove the bay leaf.

When the beans are tender, add the chopped carrot, celery, and jalapeno peppers to the beans and their broth and simmer for about 10 to 12 more minutes, until the vegetables are tender. Add the roasted squash, the caramelized onion, the cumin, and the vegetable broth.

Allow the soup to cool slightly, then puree it in a blender, in batches, or with an immersion blender, until it is smooth. Return the soup to the pot and add the reserved whole beans and the lemon juice. Taste, and correct the seasoning with more salt if needed.

Serve the soup hot with a thick drizzle of fruity olive oil and a sprinkle of crumbled white cheese on top of each serving.

A spinach salad for those who don't like spinach salads

I have a small confession to make: I've never been a huge fan of spinach salads. I know, I know... how could I? There is just something about spinach that I've never warmed up to. Actually, I have an even bigger confession, I'm not a huge fan of spinach.

I do love spinach in certain dishes, particularly Spanakopita and any Indian style spinach dishes, such as Saag Aloo. There may be a few more dishes that I am forgetting about, but I think that's it. I want to like spinach. With all of the nutrients that spinach provides, I have always wanted to serve it more, but I just can't seem to fall in love with it.

But then I found this recipe for Roasted Squash, Spinach and Leek Salad with Maple Syrup Dressing in "Dave's Dinners" by Dave Lieberman, and now I'm a convert. I've made this recipe twice, the first time I made it with roasted butternut squash, and the last time, I roasted up a sweet potato which was just as good. In the picture that accompanies the recipe in the book, it looks as though the salad has blue cheese crumbles, although the recipe does not call for them. To serve as a main dish, I think the addition of either blue cheese or slivers of Parmesan cheese (which I have used) really help to finish the recipe. All I require to make this perfect is some good crusty bread.

So, even if you are not a spinach fan, I urge you to try this salad - maybe you'll become a convert like me!

Roasted Squash, Spinach and Leek Salad with Maple Syrup Dressing
adapted from Dave's Dinners by Dave Lieberman

For the salad:
1 small butternut squash or 2 small sweet potatoes, peeled, seeded, and cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes
extra-virgin olive oil
salt
1 cup pecan halves
1 small leek
10 ounces spinach, rinsed, dried, and large stems removed
blue cheese crumbles or slivers of Parmesan cheese

For the Dressing:
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/3 cup olive oil
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 shallot, minced
1/2 teaspoon salt
15 to 20 grinds fresh black pepper

Preheat the oven to 400F.

Toss the squash cubes on a baking sheet with olive oil and salt. Roast 25 minutes or until tender, tossing every 10 minutes or so. Remove the squash from the oven and allow to cool fully.

Spread the pecans out on another baking sheet and toast in the oven for 5 minutes.

Remove the green tops and bottom root from the leek. Cut the remaining portion of the leek in half lengthwise and rinse under cool water to wash away any grit inside the leek. Cut each half in half crosswise, then thinly cut vertically to create leek matchsticks.

Make the dressing by shaking together all the dressing ingredients in a seal-able container or whisk together in a bowl. Toss the spinach with the dressing, divide the spinach between serving pates, and top with the squash pieces. Scatter the leek matchsticks around the salad, then finish with the toasted pecans and cheese.

Trying a new ingredient - celery root

I know that it has been too long since I've written about some of the recipes that I've been trying. I think it is going to take me a few weeks to catch up with some of the delicious dishes I've made recently, so stay with me!

The first dish I want to tell you about really surprised me. I think it may be my new - make when I need comfort food beef stew, and I truly didn't expect that. I was looking through some of my cookbooks the other day, and I saw this recipe for Venison Cider Stew in "A Well Seasoned Appetite" by Molly O'Neill. Normally I would have just passed right by it because of the venison, but I thought to myself "well, I could use beef". I continued looking at the list of ingredients, and even though the celery root made me uncomfortable, the rest of the ingredients beckoned me - apple cider, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon...

Needless to say, I decided to give this recipe a try. Off to the store I went, and immediately had trouble finding celery root. Thankfully there was a produce manager to help me. He said that a lot of people had been using celery root lately. Perhaps I'm not the only one trying new things! It's not the most attractive thing in the produce section, quite gnarled and very rooty. Which is I guess what I should have expected! I made a few substitutions - some I meant to do such as beef for the venison; and some I didn't mean to do - I forgot to pick up Calvados at the store, but it ended up being absolutely delicious! I wasn't sure what celery root was going to taste like, so I was a bit apprehensive. I am not a fan of either parsnips or turnips - or perhaps it is both I don't like, I never can remember. Celery root is very much like celery, but almost softer somehow.

The cooking is a bit different for beef than it is for venison, so if you do want to use venison - ask and I'll give you the directions.

Beef Cider Stew (Adapted from Venison Cider Stew)
from "A Well Seasoned Appetite" by Molly O'Neill

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 pound beef stew meat
2 tablespoons flour, seasoned lightly with salt and pepper
1 onion, peeled and minced
2 small celery roots, trimmed, peeled, and cubed
1/2 cup apple cider
1 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
2 cups beef broth
1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper, plus more to taste
1 cinnamon stick
1/2 cup dried apples, diced
1/4 cup Calvados (I used 1/8 cup brandy and 1/8 cup apple cider)
1/4 cup unsalted pistachios, coarsely chopped

Warm the olive oil in a large heavy pot over medium heat. Dust the beef with the seasoned flour. Add to the pan and cook, stirring, until well browned. Remove the beef from the pan with a slotted spoon and set aside. Add the onion to the pan and cook until the onion is soft, about 5 minutes. Add the celery roots and cook for about 3 minutes. Add the beef back to the pan, along with the apple cider, vinegar, broth, salt, pepper, and cinnamon stick. Simmer until the celery root is tender, about 1 hour.

While the stew is simmering, soak the dried apples in the Calvados.

Taste and adjust the seasoning of the stew with salt and pepper. Remove and discard the cinnamon stick. Ladle the stew into large bowls. Garnish with the apple-Calvados mixture and pistachios and serve.

Serves 4 as a main course

In Memoriam...

It truly has been too long since I've sat at the computer, and written about some of the wonderful dishes that I have been cooking. Well, that last sentence makes it sound as though I've been doing nothing but whipping up terrific food, and that is not exactly accurate. Suffice it to say, in the past 2, almost 3 months since I've written, I have made a few wonderful dishes. But I haven't sat down to tell you about them, partly because I wonder if anyone really wants to hear about what I'm doing. But also because the last few months have been very difficult. We lost my mother-in-law, Joyce Hahn on January 18th. It has been more trying than we thought it would be. As most of you know, she had been ill for quite some time. We had not lived near her in the 14 years we have been married, so we are thankful that for the past 6 months we were able to have her near us, and spend as much time with her as we could.

Death is not easy, even when we know it is coming soon.

Unfortunately, this was not the end. On Monday, we woke up to find our oh-so much loved cat, Purrsilla in pain. 'Silla, otherwise known as the Queen of Fatness or Queen of the Catbox was 18, and had given us more love and laughs than I think we truly deserved. We had always told ourselves that we would not let our animals suffer. So, with many tears we said goodbye. She was my "Baby Love", my sweetness... and now I have a very big hole in my heart that is 'Silla shaped.

Soon after Joyce passed, we decided that we needed something to help fill the gap in our lives. I'm still not sure if we made the right decision, but Shaka Hahn is the newest addition to our family. I've never had a dog before.
Ever.

I love him, but I have come to the conclusion that I am still a cat person at heart!

Speaking of being a cat person, I'm not sure if Peter likes the new addition. But he is trying.
Sort of.

Reading - The Friday Night Knitting Club

I'm getting very frustrated. See, I caught a cold a week before Thanksgiving, and was well enough to celebrate that holiday. But now I think this cough and cold are going to be here for a while. Every time I think I'm better, I will try to do something, anything - decorate, cook, clean, talk - I start coughing and can't stop.

So, I'm thinking that maybe this is the way my body is telling me to sit back and do nothing. Even though sometimes it feels as though that is all I do. Thankfully we have mostly decorated for the holidays, and after Patrick left for work last night, I could curl up on the couch with the glow of the lights, a cup of tea and a book - "The Friday Night Knitting Club" by Kate Jacobs.

I don't know how to explain how deeply this book affected me. I had tears streaming down my face by the end of the book. Don't get me wrong, I have cried over books before. But for some reason the story of Georgia Walker and her daughter has hit some nerve ending for me. Even after I had crawled into bed, I couldn't get the story out of my head. I woke up several times last night, thinking about the story. Then this morning, I opened up the third book in the series - "Knit the Season", and by this afternoon I had it finished. Now I'm kicking myself that I didn't get the second book "Knit Two".

The funny thing is that I didn't think I'd like the books. I have seen the first book in bookstores before, and even though I knit, the book never seemed to call to me. I bought them because I was in the mood for some holiday reading, and thought "Knit the Season" would be a nice easy comfort read. I bought the first book just because.

I've been thinking about these books all day, and trying to analyze both the books and my thoughts. I read. A lot. So why did this book strike such a chord with me? Do I think I can relate with one (or more) of the characters?

This makes me think again of starting both a reading club, but also a knitting club. I've toyed with the idea of starting an online reading club - any body want to join?