It has been over a month since I've sat down with the computer, and tried to write something here. I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't think there is such a thing!
Things are still in flux, but we are not moving from the St. Louis area. The last time I wrote, we were most likely moving to DC. Well, the negotiations fell through for that job, so we decided to stay here. Within a week of realizing that we weren't moving to DC, a friend and co-worker of Patrick's put their house on the market. We have been to their house before and loved it. They bought in a little over a year ago, brand new, and he put a lot of work into the house. The biggest reason for wanting this house was the finished basement that Jim did. He put in a spacious bar and pool table which is staying with the house! SO... we put a contract in on it. We are moving right before Halloween. Which is VERY soon!
Now, the house that we are renting is the first actual house that either of us have ever lived in. We've lived in apartments, condos and townhouses - but never a house. And now we are going to have one of our very own. It's in the country, but close to Patrick's work in Illinois. You can see cornfields from the backyard! I'm not sure how I'm going to adjust to it, being the city girl that I am. But, I'm so excited. We finally are going to have room to put all of our stuff. We have so many beautiful things that we have picked up from our travels, and we've never had them all out. Plus, we are going to have room for guests! So, pack your suitcases, and come to stay for a while... I am looking forward to having visitors that I can cook for!
I haven't been cooking very much for the last month or so. Mainly just heating things up. But I was standing in line the other day at the grocery store, and was staring at the magazines, when I saw a picture for Ravioli with Apples and Walnuts on the cover of the October issue of Real Simple. So, I bought the magazine, and tried the recipe last night. It has been so long since I've served something good or even thought about writing, that I didn't think about taking a picture of the finished product, but it was absolutely delicious. I have to say I was a bit unsure as I was putting the ingredients together, because it didn't seem like much. But one bite changed my mind. I can't describe how the ingredients come together, but wow. This is definitely something that we will be making again, and soon!
Click on this link to get the recipe from Real Simple.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Life is a work in progress
I don't know about you, but lately I've been re-evaluating just about everything. I believe that my life has always been a work in progress, but for some reason now more than ever. I have never felt very comfortable with myself, physically or otherwise. I'm trying many different things, and one of them is that I joined Weight Watchers. I don't know if it has been apparent by the types of recipes I've posted recently, but I've been doing it for a few months now. I have lost 15 pounds so far. I still have a long way to go to where I would like to be, but it's O.K. I'm happy with how it is going.
We also may be moving, again. It is not definite, but it is a very real possibility. St. Louis was not originally in our thoughts as to where we would end up once Patrick retired from the Navy. So, moving is not a huge shock, but I did think we may be here for a bit longer than we have been! As always, I am excited for the new adventures awaiting us. However... I am not looking forward to moving only 9 months since our last move. In the last 14 years we have moved 7 times. It's always fun to live in new places, and experience new things. It's the actual moving I despise. The packing, organizing, the angry cats, finding a new home, and then the unpacking and trying to get everything in it's place.
We have collected so many objects and art from all of our travels, that we had over 11,000 pounds of, well, crap when we moved here. One of my many goals for the next month (HA, who am I kidding, next year) is to go through most of this stuff we have accumulated and to donate the things we do not need or want and throw away the things that no one else could possibly want. Sometimes I wish that I was one of those people who only had a few things and could move with a small moving truck. I've read several articles about the 100 Things Challenge. These people downsize their belongings to 100 articles. Some people have adjusted this a bit, and count a collection of say, books as 1 item. I know that I will never be able to downsize that much and truly I don't think I would want to downsize that much. I like my things too much, but I do think it is time to scale back and only keep the things that I need or love. There are some great articles and blogs out there about this, and the following are my favorites:
How to Live with Just 100 Things
The Art of Zen Living
Guy Named Dave's 100 Thing Challenge
I have been mulling over how to put into words some of the thoughts that are jumbling around in my head to end this particular writing, and nothing I type makes sense in the way that I was hoping. So, I found this quote that I thought was very apropos of both this blog and this tangent that my mind is on!
Every possession and every happiness is but lent by chance for an uncertain time, and may therefore be demanded back the next hour. ~Arthur Schopenhauer
Friday, July 31, 2009
Pasta with artichokes and carrots
I know it's been much too long since I've stopped by to say hello. I have no real excuses, because honestly, I haven't been very busy. The only exciting thing that has happened this past month was that we got to go to the All Star Game that was held here in St. Louis. How often do you get the advantage of living in the city in which something big like that is happening? Patrick is a huge baseball fan, so we knew we had to go. We had a great time, and got to spend some time with friends who came from Virginia to see the game.
When we took this job, we knew that Patrick would be doing shift-work, and that the rotation would be every 3 months, switching between days, swings and mids. So, when his schedule changed again we weren't too upset. He is now working the swing shift which means he leaves the house just before 1 in the afternoon, and gets back home about 10:45 at night. The only real problem with this, as I'm sure you can guess, has been the change that I've had to do in order to get lunch and dinner ready. We like to have lunch before he leaves for work, and he normally takes his dinner in to work. I've come to realize that I don't like to do a lot of cooking at 9 in the morning. I'm just not quite awake enough to be wielding a knife with anything but trepidation before I've had coffee. Breakfast items are O.K. at that time, as are getting things started that need to cook for hours such as pasta sauce or a roast. But to cook the main meal at that time, and then eat immediately afterwards is just a little daunting at that hour. I really don't know what we have been eating, although I have vague recollections of some less than appealing foods. Things that I've tried to pull together as well as - horror of all horrors - prepared foods. Which hopefully explains my absence!
Needless to say, what I am attempting to do is begin cooking the day before. Which means that in the morning I'm not rushing around trying to get lunch ready. For the following dish - Pasta with artichokes and carrots, I made the sauce last night, so this morning all I had to do was cook the spinach fettuccine and crumble the goat cheese. I normally would prefer to use fresh artichokes, but this time I took the easy way out and used frozen. I love artichokes, but they can be unwieldy to prepare. This is a really great dish, very light tasting, which is great for the summer, but it is also very filling and best of all good for the waistline.
Pasta with artichokes and carrots
From "The Mayo Clinic Williams Sonoma Cookbook"
1 pound dried spinach fettuccine
1 tablespoon olive oil
16 oz frozen artichoke hearts, cut lengthwise into thin strips
8 carrots, finely diced
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 cup dry vermouth
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme or 2 teaspoons dried thyme
1/2 cup crumbled soft goat cheese
Fill a large pot three-quarters full of water and bring to a boil. Add the pasta and cook until al dente, about 10 minutes, or according to package directions.
While the pasta cooks, in a large nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat, heat the olive oil. Add the artichoke hearts, carrots, and red pepper flakes and saute until the carrots are tender, 5 - 7 minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds longer. Add the vermouth, lemon juice and thyme. Cook, stirring, 30 seconds longer.
Remove 1/4 cup of the pasta cooking water, then drain the pasta thoroughly. Add the reserved cooking water and pasta to the vegetables. Stir and toss to combine.
To serve, divide among 6 individual plates. Top each with an equal amount of the goat cheese.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Open faced wasabi-horseradish crab melt
It has been almost 10 years since I first tried an open faced crab melt sandwich. Patrick and I had just moved back to Seattle, after living in Seoul for two years. It was a stressful time because Patrick was gone for almost a year of the year and a half we were home. We were living in Ballard, and because he wasn't home very much we weren't able to go out very much.
It was an unusual evening because Patrick was actually home, and we wanted to get out of the house and do something, but we didn't know what we wanted to do. We were not starving, but wanted to get a little something to eat - not a full meal. We got in the car and started driving around. We spotted this dive bar on the water, and it looked like a great place to hang out. I wish that I could remember the name of the bar that we stopped in, although it may not even be there anymore! It was a dark and smoky bar with a jazz band playing, and everyone seemed to know each other. I cannot believe that we only went there once, it was just the type of place we like to go to. We ordered some wine, but also wanted a little something to munch on. That was when we saw the open faced crab melt on an english muffin. As soon as we took one bite, we knew we had found something wonderful. I'm not sure if I can do justice in describing the seemingly easy combination of flavors that make up the delicious flavor of a crab melt.
This is what I did, but you may need to adjust the seasoning to your tastes. If you do not like spicy food, use all mayonnaise in place of the wasabi-horseradish.
1 teaspoon olive oil
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 cup finely chopped red bell pepper
1 clove garlic, finely mined
1/2 pound lump crab meat, picked over for shells and cartilage
1 teaspoon mayonnaise
1 tablespoon creamy wasabi-horseradish sauce
1 teaspoon lemon juice, or to taste
salt and pepper to taste
4 teaspoons freshly grated Parmesan cheese, or to taste
2 english muffins, split and lightly toasted
1 tomato, sliced
Preheat the broiler, and arrange english muffins on a baking sheet. Saute the onions, bell pepper and garlic in the olive oil until the onion is translucent. Combine the sauteed vegetables, crab meat, mayonnaise, wasabi and lemon juice. Season to taste with salt, pepper and additional lemon juice if needed. Mound the mixture on top of each english muffin and sprinkle with freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Broil the melts for 3 to 4 minutes or until they are warmed through and the tops are caramelized. Serve with tomato slices.
It was an unusual evening because Patrick was actually home, and we wanted to get out of the house and do something, but we didn't know what we wanted to do. We were not starving, but wanted to get a little something to eat - not a full meal. We got in the car and started driving around. We spotted this dive bar on the water, and it looked like a great place to hang out. I wish that I could remember the name of the bar that we stopped in, although it may not even be there anymore! It was a dark and smoky bar with a jazz band playing, and everyone seemed to know each other. I cannot believe that we only went there once, it was just the type of place we like to go to. We ordered some wine, but also wanted a little something to munch on. That was when we saw the open faced crab melt on an english muffin. As soon as we took one bite, we knew we had found something wonderful. I'm not sure if I can do justice in describing the seemingly easy combination of flavors that make up the delicious flavor of a crab melt.
Because it is a very rich dish, I haven't made them in a very long time. But the other day, when I realized I had leftover crab from the crab and avocado quesadilla I had made for dinner, this was the first thing I thought about.
If you have never tried Bay's english muffins, I highly recommend them. You find them in the refrigerated section of the grocery store, and they are my favorite.
Some crab melts use a lot of mayonnaise and cheese, but I wanted to put a different flavor on these crab melts and make them a little healthier. I decided that a wasabi-horseradish would add some heat and flavor, and allow me to use less mayonnaise.
In order to cut some of the cheese, I used just a sprinkling of freshly grated Parmesan to the top of the melts to give just a touch of flavor. I plated the tomato to the side of my crab melts, but I put the tomato on top to eat.
This is what I did, but you may need to adjust the seasoning to your tastes. If you do not like spicy food, use all mayonnaise in place of the wasabi-horseradish.
1 teaspoon olive oil
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 cup finely chopped red bell pepper
1 clove garlic, finely mined
1/2 pound lump crab meat, picked over for shells and cartilage
1 teaspoon mayonnaise
1 tablespoon creamy wasabi-horseradish sauce
1 teaspoon lemon juice, or to taste
salt and pepper to taste
4 teaspoons freshly grated Parmesan cheese, or to taste
2 english muffins, split and lightly toasted
1 tomato, sliced
Preheat the broiler, and arrange english muffins on a baking sheet. Saute the onions, bell pepper and garlic in the olive oil until the onion is translucent. Combine the sauteed vegetables, crab meat, mayonnaise, wasabi and lemon juice. Season to taste with salt, pepper and additional lemon juice if needed. Mound the mixture on top of each english muffin and sprinkle with freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Broil the melts for 3 to 4 minutes or until they are warmed through and the tops are caramelized. Serve with tomato slices.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Old Clothes and Photography
Ever since I started this blog, I have been fighting with myself over what my intentions are. There are so many wonderful food blogs out there, and I doubt if I have read one-tenth of them! Some read like wonderful short stories, some have you drooling over the dishes that they describe, and most of them have fantastic photography.
Once upon a time, I loved taking pictures. I even thought that I would not make a half-bad photographer. But somewhere along the way I seem to have misplaced that particular talent. Some of this is for lack of trying, I didn't pick up a camera for years. And now that I started this blog, I am forgetting to take pictures of every step of the cooking process. Sometimes even forgetting to take pictures of the final product! I have been getting very frustrated with both the lighting in this house, and the cameras that I am using. I would love to lay the blame on them, but perhaps it could just be user error.
My intention is to write at least once a week. A recipe that I want to share with everyone, with beautiful pictures and intelligent writing. I haven't been living up to that intention, but I am going to try harder.
This particular dish is a prime example of my forgetfulness. I made this last night, and did not even once think of taking a picture. I know that Ropa vieja, or "old clothes" does not make a pretty picture, especially if you are taking it the next day without much fuss. But it is a wonderful dish. This version is not a traditional Cuban recipe, but it is one that I came up with one day when I didn't want to go to the store. My onions had gone bad, and I had no bell peppers, but I did have a beef brisket in the freezer, lots of spices and some rice. I know it takes a long time to cook, but it is something you can put on the stove and almost forget about. I try to make this a few times a year and stash some in the freezer for quick meals. I usually serve at least a few servings over rice. It is terrific in just about any Mexican or Cuban dish, nachos, quesadillas, burritos or tacos. It is also fantastic added to scrambled eggs for a hearty breakfast.
Ropa vieja or Shredded Beef over Rice
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 4 pound boneless top chuck roast, trimmed of all visible fat
salt and pepper
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 can crushed tomatoes
1 can tomato puree
2 cups water
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon celery salt
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
1/2 tablespoon black pepper
1/2 tablespoon cayenne pepper
1/2 tablespoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon dried mustard
1 1/2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
rice, for serving
Heat the vegetable oil in a large heavy dutch oven over medium high heat. Season the roast generously with salt and pepper, and place carefully in the hot oil. Brown all sides of the roast.
Combine all remaining ingredients, except rice and pour over the meat. Cover and reduce heat to low. Check the liquid occasionally and turn the roast to get all sides in the liquid. Cook for 4 hours or until the meat is tender. Remove roast from the liquid and shred meat. Return the meat to the juices and increase the heat to reduce the sauce, if needed. Season to taste, and serve over rice.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Heat makes me crazy
I think I must have been delusional when I found out we were moving to St. Louis. For some strange reason, I thought that St. Louis in the summer would be cooler than Washington, DC or Norfolk, Virginia. Ha! I'm not sure why I thought that, maybe it was during one of the heat spells in Norfolk that I thought that. St. Louis is HOT. I think of this as the beginning of summer and with the heat index it is 108 right now outside. I'm really afraid to know what August is going to be like!
I don't know if it's my Irish blood, or the fact that I grew up in mild Seattle, but the heat does strange things to me. Not even taking into account the fact that I burn in under 10 minutes, but if I am out in it for any length of time, I get light-headed, dizzy and downright odd in the head. I am really thankful that I am not working, and I don't have to go out much if I don't really want to!
Thankfully we have central air conditioning, which is something almost unheard of in Seattle. Whenever I think of central A/C I can't help but think of the scene from the movie "Dogma" with the demon Azrael. "No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater than central air...". I whole-heartedly agree with that!
But, because this is an older home that we are renting, there are some rooms that don't cool quite as well as others - the kitchen in particular. My kitchen is 80 degrees right now, while it is 75 degrees in the dining room, where I am right now. As you can imagine, I haven't been wanting to spend too much time in the kitchen, but I have to spend some time in the kitchen - we have to eat!
Which brings us to one of the most recent dishes I've made. I did have to heat up the kitchen to make Rotini with Salmon and Roasted Garlic from "Everyday Pasta" by Giada De Laurentis, but I ate the leftovers cold the next day! If you can remember to roast your garlic earlier in the day or the day before, this comes together very quickly.
But, you can also use the heat of the oven to make on of my favorite side dishes - roasted asparagus. Just rinse and dry your asparagus, and snap the ends off. Place them in a roasting dish large enough to lay the spears flat. Drizzle them with just enough olive oil to coat and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Depending on the thickness of your asparagus, they will take approximately 6-12 minutes to cook.
Rotini with Salmon and Roasted Garlic
from "Everyday Pasta" by Giada De Laurentis
2 whole heads of garlic
2 tablespoons olive oil1 pound rotini or fusilli (corkscrew-shaped pasta)
1/2 cup Marsala or white wine
1 cup chicken broth
1 pound salmon, cut into 1-inch cubes
zest and juice of 1 lemon
1 tablespoon minced fresh rosemary
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons drained capers
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Cut the heads of garlic in half crosswise and place on a sheet of foil. Drizzle with the olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Fold the foil up and around the garlic, making sure it stays flat, and fold the edges to seal into a tight packet. Roast until soft, about 60 minutes. Let the garlic cool slightly, then squeeze the cloves out of the skin. Mash half of the roasted garlic cloves into a paste with the back of a fork. Set aside.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta and cook until tender but still firm to the bite, stirring occasionally, 8 to 10 minutes. Drain.
Meanwhile, combine the Marsala and chicken broth in a large heavy skillet and bring to a simmer. Add the mashed roasted garlic and stir to dissolve. Simmer uncovered for 4 minutes, then add the salmon, cover, and simmer for 4 minutes longer. Remove from the heat and add the remaining whole roasted garlic cloves, the lemon zest and juice, rosemary and the cooked pasta. Stir to combine; add the extra-virgin olive oil, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and stir once more. Serve immediately.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Our lives for the last month, or so...
Hello again. I think it is a good thing that I don't have a lot of readers yet, with my recent absence. I with that I could say that I won't be away for that long again, but life has a way of throwing curve balls at you.
It has been a whirlwind month. Both Patrick and I are exhausted. Joyce, my mother-in-law, went into a nursing home last Tuesday. This has been one of the most frustrating and difficult situations that we've dealt with in our lives.
I am finally able to sit down in a silent house. All I have heard for the last month is the constant noise of the TV and an oxygen machine. I sometimes forget that I am unusual (in so many ways). Most people need background noise - the TV, radio, etc. I love music, but I need silence in order to relax. Perhaps I should really consider spending some time at a Buddhist Monastery. Before all of this happened, I had been trying to do yoga and meditate, although I haven't had the time nor the energy to do anything lately! I think my favorite thing that has happened in the last month, is the reply to a Facebook entry I made about trying to relax from my friend Shazi -she told me that my new nickname was "Zen Jen". I like it!
It all began on Sunday April 26th. Patrick was off, and we were running errands and trying to explore St. Louis when he got a call from his aunt. His mom was in the hospital. I guess I should fill you in with some background before I go on. Joyce has a myriad of health issues. To summarize, she has been diabetic since 1983, she had a triple bypass in 1999, she has macular degeneration and is legally blind, and has been going through kidney dialysis 3 times a week for the last 3 years. For the last 1o years or so, we have been trying to convince her to move into a facility of some sort. At first we were trying to get her into a senior community, and as time went on, and her health problems got worse, we tried to convince her to go into an assisted living facility and then a nursing home. She didn't want to do that; she did not think she needed to go into any sort of home. Ever since before Patrick retired from the Navy, we had been talking about moving her closer to us. With all of the uncertainties we were facing: where we were going to be, what his job would be and would we like the area, we didn't make any definate plans. We were going to address the issue once he was permanent in his new job and had vacation time. That was going to give us plenty of time to find a community for her to live in. Before the 26th of April, she was still insisting that she could live on her own in an apartment. Then the doctor called us and told us that she could not live alone any longer, and that if we wanted her to be close to us, than it was better to do it soon. Very soon.
So began the scramble. Patrick worked 10 days straight so that he could have 4 days off to bring her to St. Louis. On Thursday, May 7th we drove out of St. Louis after Patrick got off work to pick up my mother-in-law, Joyce (from now on referred to as MIL) in Alabama. We had to be back home by that Sunday (Mother's Day) so that she could make her dialysis appointment on Monday, and Patrick started work again on Tuesday.
We knew even before getting home that having her stay with us for an extended period of time was not going to work. Now, you have to understand that we are renting an old house, with stairs at both the front and back entrances. My MIL needs the wheelchair lift to use the bus, because she can't go up those stairs. Within the first week that she lived with us, she fell 5 times! She did get a nasty gash on one of those falls, but thankfully she never truly hurt herself.
We soon realized exactly how much care she needed.
I think that many young girls dream of being a nurse. I was never one of those girls. I respect nurses. More now than I did before. The last month I have administered her medication, been her aid to and from her three times a week dialysis appointments, bandaged her boo-boos (her words, not mine), tried to cook food she would like according to her renal diet (I'll be doing another post on that), tried to keep the house clean and do laundry, cleaned up fecal matter, helped her in and out of the shower, put cream on a rash on her butt... this list could go on, but I don't want to get into too much detail.
We have realized that I have more patience than I thought I had, and that Patrick has less than he thought he had.
And then you have the difference in personalities. My MIL has always been a bit childish. I think that has something to do with her size. At 4'7", she is a small woman, and her voice is very high (think a little lower than the munchkins in "The Wizard of Oz") . I know that people always mention how cute and adorable she is, and I think at some point in her young life she decided to play that up a bit. She seems to be regressing more and more as she ages. She talks with baby-talk, allot. She refers to her "tummie", when she is hungry she wants some "yummies", things are "all-rightyyy", and any sore is a "boo-boo".
Those of you who know me well, know that I don't watch much television, and when I do I prefer quirky films and programs. Shows such as "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert", "The Soprano's", "Weeds", etc... Because of her health issues, my MIL can't do much except watch television. Her favorite things to watch are Disney cartoon movies, John Wayne films and the Andy Griffith show. I found out in the last few weeks that she also watches the Hallmark Channel, Foodtv, and the Price is Right.
We did have a home nurse that came out several times a week to check her vital signs and make sure that everything was OK. That was nice until she told me that my MIL should not even be getting out of a chair or her bed by herself. My MIL sleeps most of the day, and is up at night. I didn't know how I was going to be able to be there all the time that she needed me. Needless to say, I have spent the last few weeks on pins and needles. Scared that I was going to find her on the floor, again. I don't sleep well normally, but I have been constantly thinking of what needs to be done next, and did I give her the right medication, am I cooking her the correct food, what should I cook her next...
Food - sigh. She has the will-power and self-control of a 3 year old child left alone in a grocery store. When I first met her, 14 years ago, she ate McDonald's for breakfast every morning (remember she was diabetic) and from what I can tell she hadn't stopped that, even with being a kidney patient. She doesn't like plain water because it tastes "ickie". She only likes chicken fried, she always wants sweet things, and she salts everything, most of the time before tasting it -including fruit. I felt like I was a nanny again, trying to get her to eat healthy food. Nothing I cooked or did was right, or good enough for her.
Although I am happy that she is in a nursing home, I feel guilty for putting her there. She is not happy and she does not think that she needs to be in a nursing home. I constantly have to remind myself that the nurses know that she needs to be there. Whether she likes it, or knows it, it is where she should be.
The adventure is not quite over yet. She is in a home, but we still need to apply for Medicaid, so that she can stay there. Then there will be the complaints. Neither of us are looking forward to that, but it will be really wonderful to be able to go and visit her once or more a week, spend an hour or so with her, and then come home to silence.
Ahh... silence!
It has been a whirlwind month. Both Patrick and I are exhausted. Joyce, my mother-in-law, went into a nursing home last Tuesday. This has been one of the most frustrating and difficult situations that we've dealt with in our lives.
I am finally able to sit down in a silent house. All I have heard for the last month is the constant noise of the TV and an oxygen machine. I sometimes forget that I am unusual (in so many ways). Most people need background noise - the TV, radio, etc. I love music, but I need silence in order to relax. Perhaps I should really consider spending some time at a Buddhist Monastery. Before all of this happened, I had been trying to do yoga and meditate, although I haven't had the time nor the energy to do anything lately! I think my favorite thing that has happened in the last month, is the reply to a Facebook entry I made about trying to relax from my friend Shazi -she told me that my new nickname was "Zen Jen". I like it!
It all began on Sunday April 26th. Patrick was off, and we were running errands and trying to explore St. Louis when he got a call from his aunt. His mom was in the hospital. I guess I should fill you in with some background before I go on. Joyce has a myriad of health issues. To summarize, she has been diabetic since 1983, she had a triple bypass in 1999, she has macular degeneration and is legally blind, and has been going through kidney dialysis 3 times a week for the last 3 years. For the last 1o years or so, we have been trying to convince her to move into a facility of some sort. At first we were trying to get her into a senior community, and as time went on, and her health problems got worse, we tried to convince her to go into an assisted living facility and then a nursing home. She didn't want to do that; she did not think she needed to go into any sort of home. Ever since before Patrick retired from the Navy, we had been talking about moving her closer to us. With all of the uncertainties we were facing: where we were going to be, what his job would be and would we like the area, we didn't make any definate plans. We were going to address the issue once he was permanent in his new job and had vacation time. That was going to give us plenty of time to find a community for her to live in. Before the 26th of April, she was still insisting that she could live on her own in an apartment. Then the doctor called us and told us that she could not live alone any longer, and that if we wanted her to be close to us, than it was better to do it soon. Very soon.
So began the scramble. Patrick worked 10 days straight so that he could have 4 days off to bring her to St. Louis. On Thursday, May 7th we drove out of St. Louis after Patrick got off work to pick up my mother-in-law, Joyce (from now on referred to as MIL) in Alabama. We had to be back home by that Sunday (Mother's Day) so that she could make her dialysis appointment on Monday, and Patrick started work again on Tuesday.
We knew even before getting home that having her stay with us for an extended period of time was not going to work. Now, you have to understand that we are renting an old house, with stairs at both the front and back entrances. My MIL needs the wheelchair lift to use the bus, because she can't go up those stairs. Within the first week that she lived with us, she fell 5 times! She did get a nasty gash on one of those falls, but thankfully she never truly hurt herself.
We soon realized exactly how much care she needed.
I think that many young girls dream of being a nurse. I was never one of those girls. I respect nurses. More now than I did before. The last month I have administered her medication, been her aid to and from her three times a week dialysis appointments, bandaged her boo-boos (her words, not mine), tried to cook food she would like according to her renal diet (I'll be doing another post on that), tried to keep the house clean and do laundry, cleaned up fecal matter, helped her in and out of the shower, put cream on a rash on her butt... this list could go on, but I don't want to get into too much detail.
We have realized that I have more patience than I thought I had, and that Patrick has less than he thought he had.
And then you have the difference in personalities. My MIL has always been a bit childish. I think that has something to do with her size. At 4'7", she is a small woman, and her voice is very high (think a little lower than the munchkins in "The Wizard of Oz") . I know that people always mention how cute and adorable she is, and I think at some point in her young life she decided to play that up a bit. She seems to be regressing more and more as she ages. She talks with baby-talk, allot. She refers to her "tummie", when she is hungry she wants some "yummies", things are "all-rightyyy", and any sore is a "boo-boo".
Those of you who know me well, know that I don't watch much television, and when I do I prefer quirky films and programs. Shows such as "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert", "The Soprano's", "Weeds", etc... Because of her health issues, my MIL can't do much except watch television. Her favorite things to watch are Disney cartoon movies, John Wayne films and the Andy Griffith show. I found out in the last few weeks that she also watches the Hallmark Channel, Foodtv, and the Price is Right.
We did have a home nurse that came out several times a week to check her vital signs and make sure that everything was OK. That was nice until she told me that my MIL should not even be getting out of a chair or her bed by herself. My MIL sleeps most of the day, and is up at night. I didn't know how I was going to be able to be there all the time that she needed me. Needless to say, I have spent the last few weeks on pins and needles. Scared that I was going to find her on the floor, again. I don't sleep well normally, but I have been constantly thinking of what needs to be done next, and did I give her the right medication, am I cooking her the correct food, what should I cook her next...
Food - sigh. She has the will-power and self-control of a 3 year old child left alone in a grocery store. When I first met her, 14 years ago, she ate McDonald's for breakfast every morning (remember she was diabetic) and from what I can tell she hadn't stopped that, even with being a kidney patient. She doesn't like plain water because it tastes "ickie". She only likes chicken fried, she always wants sweet things, and she salts everything, most of the time before tasting it -including fruit. I felt like I was a nanny again, trying to get her to eat healthy food. Nothing I cooked or did was right, or good enough for her.
Although I am happy that she is in a nursing home, I feel guilty for putting her there. She is not happy and she does not think that she needs to be in a nursing home. I constantly have to remind myself that the nurses know that she needs to be there. Whether she likes it, or knows it, it is where she should be.
The adventure is not quite over yet. She is in a home, but we still need to apply for Medicaid, so that she can stay there. Then there will be the complaints. Neither of us are looking forward to that, but it will be really wonderful to be able to go and visit her once or more a week, spend an hour or so with her, and then come home to silence.
Ahh... silence!
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